Wry & Dry: a cynical and irreverent review of the week in politics, economics and life. For intelligent Readers who disdain the trivial.
But first, a snapshot of this week’s Investment Matters:
- NuFarm – investment update
To read Investment Matters, just click on the link at the bottom of this week’s Wry & Dry. Or here.
1. The goose that killed the golden egg
Current treasurer Jim Chalmers has turned back the clock to his hero and PhD thesis subject: former treasurer Paul Keating. Keating once said that the most dangerous place to stand in Australia was between a state treasurer and a pot of money.
Well, Goose Chalmers has eyed all available pots of money to fund Upgrade Albo’s spendthrift dreams. And his eyes settled on Australia’s Future Fund, the golden egg that is Australia’s sovereign wealth fund. Let no one stand in his way.
Y’see, Goose Jim has changed the investment mandate of the FF. It will now need to consider ‘national priorities’ for investment decisions. These are (a) increasing residential housing supply; (b) supporting energy transition to net zero; and (c) delivering infrastructure projects.
But, of course, the government is “committed to the independence and commercial focus of the FF.” And, equally, “the fund will provide the same strong returns to the government…”
Err, hold the phone, if these strong returns from ‘national priorities’ were already available, the investment funds would be readily available from existing sources.1 So, no need to raid the piggy bank of the FF.
Chalmers will be the goose that killed the Golden Egg.
1 For example, sovereign wealth funds, pension/superannuation funds, etc.
2. Too little too late
Sleepy Joe woke from a deep sleep earlier this week. And realised that the war in Ukraine was still ongoing. And signs were looking good for Tsar Vlad to have Christmas in Kyiv. So he sprang into action and announced that the missiles that the US had supplied Ukraine could be used on military sites in Russia.
Too little, too late, old timer.
The decision was so well flagged that Tsar Vlad has already moved all of his key kit more than 300 kilometres from the border. And, in any case, Sleepy Joe said the missiles could only land around the narrow Kursk region. Which they did, on Wednesday.
This is just another cautious Sleepy Joe decision whereby the US gave Ukraine just enough kit not to lose the war, but not enough to win it.
Sleepy Joe never missed an opportunity to miss an opportunity. Consider that he allowed a preventable immigration crisis to develop; he allowed reckless spending to spike inflation; he allowed the anointment of Kamala Kamala; and he looked to Hamas and Hezbollah instead of Iran to manage the Middle East.
Sigh.
3. Trumpster’s first DCM
In a world screaming for diversity, the Trumpster had announced a cabinet of astounding diversity of inexperience, incompetence and idiocy.
Taking his lead from House of Cards and West Wing, he has assembled a team that will have all the essential elements of a television drama: conspiracy, sex, family break-up, sex, death, sex, drugs, wealth, sex, betrayal, lawyers and… romance.
Wry & Dry considers that he has already sold the rights to Netflix.
President: Six-time bankrupt, former television personality, felon.
Defense (sic): Former serviceman, Fox news host, rape cover-up person.
Intelligence: Lieutenant-colonel in Army Reserve (Iraq), maverick, Tsar Vlad lover.
Health: Vaccine sceptic, AIDS not caused by HIV, autism caused by vaccines.
‘Border Czar’: Former policeman and Border Patrol Agent. Wants to deport millions, overnight.
Commerce: Billionaire, Wall Street CEO, pro-tariffs, pro-lower corporate taxes.
Efficiency: Billionaire owner of Tesla, X, Space X, etc. On a unique spectrum.
Transport: Fox television host.
Medicare: Television personality (‘Dr. Oz’), promoted malarial drug for covid.
Education: Former pro-wrestler.
Attorney-General: Far-right and way beyond Floridian politician, accused of sex-trafficking, sex with a minor.
Stop press: the Trumpster’s nominee for Attorney-General, Matt Gaetz, has given himself the DCM. He has a murky past. Allegations of that wicked blend of sexual misdeeds and drugs had already come to the attention of both the Department of Justice and a Congressional ethics committee.
Join the dots. 1. On Wednesday, the latter declined to release its interim findings. 2. On Thursday, Gaetz gave himself the DCM. To Wry & Dry’s rheumy eye, this is a Godfather offer. The House Ethics Committee told Gaetz: DCM and we will close the case. Proceed and you’re toast.
The Trumpster’s judgement has failed well before he is re-crowned.
Stop press: the Trumpster has appointed Pam Bondi as his Attorney-General. At least she is an experienced lawyer. She was Attorney-General for Florida from 2011 until 2019. And was one of his lawyers in his first impeachment trial.
4. Less educated politicians
Well, so much for Australia’s education system.
The Economist reports that, of 56 countries with over 2 million population, Australia has the 8th highest percentage of legislators with only secondary school education.
On the chart below, reading the colours from left to right: PhD (red), Other post-grad (pink), graduate (blue), other post-secondary (grey) and no higher than secondary (taupe).
Reviewing the week in politics, Readers should not be surprised.
5. You’re moving in today
No sooner had Wry & Dry suggested that Hamas would move to Turkey (having been given the DCM from Qatar), than a lease was signed in Turkey.
Actually, probably there is no lease. Just a nod and wink to and from the Sultan of Iran.
But Sleepy Joe is not happy. Well, one of his acolytes is grumpy, and said. “We don’t believe that the leaders of a vicious terrorist organisation (aka Hamas) should be living comfortably (i.e. in five-star hotels) anywhere, and that certainly includes in a major city (has to be Istanbul; Ankara is full of public servants) of one of our key allies (perhaps Turkey) and partners.”
His point was that Turkey is a member of Nato, and is expected to follow the leader, i.e. the US. But to suggest that Turkey is an ‘ally’ is pulling a long bow. Sultan Recep Tayyip Erdoğan has been a supplier of nasty warfare stuff to Tsar Vlad, as well as being a conduit for sanction-busting activity.
Let Wry & Dry give Readers the whisper: it matters not a jot where Hamas’ leaders put their pillows. The real deal lies with Iran.
6. Hear an election coming?
It’s that time of the triennium when the rent-seekers are plotting their raid on we-the-taxpayer. Or other cash-rich entities.
Readers will know that the Prince of Rent-Seekers is the Leader of the National Party. It’s in the job description; first line. first sentence.
Former Leader Barnaby Joyce fine-tuned the art of shameless handouts to constituents – mostly disguised as ‘national building’ projects, the overflow from which would flow down to worthy folk.
Which brings Wry & Dry to ask: who should pay the $350m required to keep uneconomical rural bank branches open. Well, Upgrade Albo wants to ensure that there are no flies on him when it comes to looking after rural folk. Hence Treasury running up the flagpole a plan to introduce a bank levy that would be used to subsidise those banks that have rural branches.
Everyone’s a winner!
Err, no. Why should highly digitalised banks, such as Macquarie and ING be forced to prop up other banks’ legacy business models? If anyone should pay to keep rural bank branches open it should either be rural customers (political suicide) or we-the-taxpayer (a little more palatable).
Readers should watch how this unfolds. If Albo doesn’t do something to keep rural branches open, then Uncle Fester Dutton and the Chief Gnat will scream big screams. And if he does, he will hit the easiest pocket: not rural customers, not we-the-taxpayer, but the banks.
7. Big Australia?
Immigration is the most lobbied of all government services. Universities, property developers, migrant advocacy groups, under-labour-resourced industries, migrants wanting more family reunions, etc, all beat paths to the doors of the immigration minister and local MPs. And donate vast sums needy political parties.
Which is why the below has happened:
And with a large housing shortage and a small number of nasty immigrants, the cries were getting louder “to do something.” So, the government and the opposition both agreed that the best way would be to cap overseas student numbers. At 270,000 per annum.
All was well. High fives all round, except from the universities and property developers. Just need to legislate.
Oops. Sorry. My bad. Changed my mind. So said Uncle Fester Dutton. Who had previously referred to overseas students as a “modern version of boat arrivals.”
And so, having agreed to Upgrade Albo’s cap, he said he wouldn’t wear it.
High fives all round at the universities and property developers. But the government went nutzo. And said some very nasty things about Uncle Fester’s change of mind. As they well might.
Uncle Fester hasn’t come up with an alternative plan, other than he would make deeper immigration cuts.
Which leave his only election policy to be: a nuclear power station near you.
Snippets from all over
1. Tsar Vlad’s experiment
Vladimir Putin has said Moscow fired an experimental hypersonic missile at Ukraine. (Financial Times)
Wry & Dry comments: Experimental? It landed in Ukraine.
2. Boeing, Boeing
Chief Executive Kelly Ortberg told employees the once mighty manufacturer has serious culture problems and can’t afford another mistake. (Wall Street Journal)
Wry & Dry comments: Captain Obvious.
3. VW faces big strikes
Workers at Volkswagen’s plants in Germany are preparing to strike within weeks, as executives at Europe’s largest carmaker rejected their demand to rule out factory closures in the country. (The Times)
Wry & Dry comments: VW plans to close three German plants, eliminate tens of thousands of jobs and cut the pay of remaining workers by 10%. Blame Emperor Eleven and a complacent Germany.
4. Lost aid
Almost 100 trucks carrying aid to Gaza were violently looted, according to the UN agency operating them. (The Economist)
Wry & Dry comments: Family clans were the culprits.
5. Israel actually hit Iran’s nuclear capability
Israel struck a “specific component” related to Iran’s nuclear programme last month, Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu said on Monday, despite pleas from the US to contain its retaliatory air strikes on the Islamic republic. (Financial Times)
Wry & Dry comments: Captain Obvious – of course Israel hit a part of Iran’s nuclear programme. And Sleepy Joe would have known.
It figures
- 21%: Russia – central bank lifted its cash rate, to defend the Rouble.
And to soothe your troubled mind…
“I can’t stress enough how much I hate what I’ve done.”
Chris Ellison, embattled CEO of mining company Mineral Resources, speaking of past sins of tax evasions, corporate mis-governance, conflicts of interest, etc.
Wry & Dry comments: The retrospective remorse came only after he was found out.
Disclaimer
The comments in Wry & Dry do not necessarily reflect those of First Samuel, its Directors or Associates.
Cheers!