Wry & Dry: a cynical and irreverent review of the week in politics, economics and life. For intelligent Readers who disdain the trivial.
Investment Matters
Company profit reporting season has finished. We were very pleased with the overall market growth and the relative performance of our client portfolios. clients should see this month’s CIO video for more details.
Craig Shepherd, our CIO, this week provides deep dives on:
- Bapcorp
- Nib Insurance
- Lynas
- IGO
To read Investment Matters, you can still just click on the link at the bottom of this week’s Wry & Dry. Or here.
Wry & Dry’s musings
Once again, Wry & Dry returns from warmer climes to find an embarrassment of embarrassments occurred in his absence.
Former ‘I stand with Dan’ t-shirt wearers have immolated that insignia of obeisance in disgust at his standing with Tsar Vlad, Emperor Eleven and Kim Jong-Un; the only happiness for the UK government is that the French government is proving even more incompetent; and Tsar Vlad decides it was time to test his Bunnings’ drones against NATO.
1. Cringing in Beijing
Former Chairman Dan’s wife probably hoped he would ride off into the sunset of post-politics’ retirement, where the low-hanging fruit of repayment of past favours could be quietly picked. And savoured.
But the temptation of relevance was too great for him. As Mrs. Dan added a couple of spare black North Face puffer jackets to his carry-on luggage, he justifyingly cried, “Imagine me not only being in the company of past, present and emerging megalomaniacs but also to have the photo to prove I was really one of them.”
“Even better than a bronze statue in Fitzroy Gardens,” he added.
But, wait. Even more than the company he would keep, what better way to share a celebration of the falsified history of the Chinese Communist Party’s role in defeating the Japanese1 than genuflection to Emperor Eleven? Or was it veneration?
It was weird, though. Emperor Eleven didn’t look happy at all as Chairman Dan prostrated himself. Whether it was constipation or the outworking of a dodgy vindaloo for dinner the previous night2 with the Indian Prime Minister will never be revealed. Or maybe he was thinking, “Who is this bloke? He doesn’t look like a prime minister or president. And what’s with the North Face puffer jacket?”
Anyway, Chairman Dan had his two minutes of fame. Well, infamy actually. If it wasn’t obvious already then it is now, he doesn’t give two figs for what people thought about his idolisation of despotism.
When announcing his retirement as premier of the Bankrupt State of Victoria he said that his greatest achievement was that he “had made the big calls.”
History is now showing how those big calls have turned out. And history will also show that his biggest call was the vanity of wanting to share a global stage with such a rogue’s gallery of oppressive leaders. A gallery into which he perfectly fitted.
1 The knees-up was in to celebrate the 80th anniversary of the defeat of the Japanese invaders by soldiers of the Chinese Communist Party. Unfortunately, the CCP had little to do with the defeat of the Japanese. The Kuomintan (KMT), led by Chiang Kai-shek, fought most of the major battles, had significantly more casualties and had an aim to defeat the Japanese. The CCP’s aim was survival and to build for a post-war struggle against the KMT. Which they won by 1949.
2 Apologies to The 12th Man.
2. Tsar Vlad and the benefit of cost asymmetry
Like a pesky mosquito circling at night, buzzing and annoying, Tsar Vlad has, once again, tested the limits of international law. And found politicians flailing in the dark, trying to swat with ineffective words.
On Wednesday, he imperiously sent a swarm of armed drones into Poland to test its and NATO’s defences. The drones themselves might have come from Bunnings: functional, small, cheap but not made in China. Each had the explosive capability of a hand grenade.
They were expensively downed. Three of them by F 35A fighters (the cost of each fighter being about $80m) firing AIM-9 Sidewinder missiles (cost of each about $425,000).
The Russian Gerbera drone is made of plywood and foam (cost of each about $10,000).
Economists call this ‘cost asymmetry’.
Wry & Dry digresses. Tsar Vlad doesn’t care what European leaders say. He, and the world, waited for the response from the one person who mattered. And was not disappointed. Trumpster penned a withering and statesman-like response on social media: “What’s with Russia violating Poland’s airspace with drones? Here we go!”
Tsar Vlad is not quivering. But Trumpster’s jelly-like spine is. He continues to let Tsar Vlad lead him by the nose.
Trumpster has become a bystander in matters where he cannot bully an outcome. His plan is to just let Tsar Vlad decide when he (Tsar Vlad) wants peace.
3. To lose one prime minister may be regarded…
The glorie seeking President of France, M. Macron, on Tuesday lost his fourth prime minister in just over 20 months. Misfortune indeed. 3
The reason? As foreshadowed some weeks ago, the until-Tuesday prime minister had a task of bringing down a budget that would go a little way to reducing France’s growing budget deficits.
The problem? M Macron impulsively (Macron impulsive? Who would have thought?) called a snap election last year, in which he lost his parliamentary majority. The minority government that he now leads is at the beck and call of the left and the right wing parties. These extreme wings are the majority, but are not in any way united. Except in the rejection of any austerity measures that Macron’s Prime Minister might propose.
Including, mon Dieu, to cancel two public holidays!
Ironically, as the outgoing prime minister was about to face a vote of confidence over his austerity budget, two ministers from his own government announced another handout of state money. Buyers of electric cars fitted with European-built batteries would be entitled to an additional €1,000 besides an already-existing bonus reaching up to €4,200, “with the aim to reshore electric vehicle components manufacturing, and create industrial jobs in Europe.”
It was 44 years ago that France’s first socialist president, François Mitterrand launched a vast nationalisation programme while cutting down the work week, hiking the minimum wage, and lowering pension age from 65 to 60. Consider that today, by way of example:
- French employers pay the highest payroll taxes in the world
- French employers have to deal with a 3,350-page Employment Code
- Green regulation has removed 30% of available rentals because of energy inefficiency
- French taxes are the highest or second highest in the OECD
The political outcome is that France entered 2025 without a budget, for the first time in modern history. And still doesn’t have one in September.
The economic outcome is that France’s 10-year bond yields are now higher than those of Greece and Italy.
Perhaps M Macron should spend less time trying to save Gaza, Ukraine and the yellow-bellied parrot. And focus more time on his government.
3 “To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.” Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest. Spoken by Lady Bracknell.
4. UK government turns to custard
UK PM Starmer might say that the collapse in popularity of his government was “merely a flesh wound.”
Source: Statista 2025
Well, so too said the Black Knight in Monty Python and the Holy Grail. He had both arms chopped off, but pretended that all was well.
And that is, metaphorically, what has happened to Starmer.
A net popularity of -59% is lower than the Conservatives at the last election. That is a statistic loaded with embarrassment. The nation’s finances are dire; an armada of small boats daily dumps 1,000 illegal immigrants on its shores; its Deputy PM was given the DCM last week for tax evasion; and the NHS stumbles from crisis to crisis.
And then, ignominy of ignominy, Lord Peter Mandelson, Starmer’s appointed Ambassador to the US was found to have written in the world’s most notorious birthday greeting book. That birthday greeting book was a gift to convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
Starmer initially refused to give His Majesty’s Ambassador the DCM. Which is what he said seven days ago about his Deputy PM. And look what happened to her 48 hours later. The same has now happened to his Lordship.
The vultures of the far-right-of-the-soup-spoon party, Reform, led by a certifiable nutter, are circling. And now leads both Labour and Conservatives in the polls.
Starmer has become a parody of Monty Python.
5. Liberal Party – send in the clowns
As the HMAS Liberal Party silently steamed towards seen and unseen icebergs, two deck chairs were noisily moved.
Pesky Liberal Senator Jacinta Nampijinpa Price got the DCM from Leader Ley for spending too much time being iconoclastic, disloyal and idiotic. Ley gave Price every opportunity to apologise for insensitive and pointless comments about Indian immigrants. Price refused. And the china shop was increasingly becoming well and truly wrecked by the bull from the bush. Ley had no choice but to give her the DCM.
In the time-honoured tradition of the Liberal Party, vengeful MPs took the opportunity to pour petrol onto the fire. Sarah Henderson and Jane Hume, both demoted from Ley’s front bench, both took to the media to provide comfort for Price.
It’s not a coincidence that it is known that one of Price’s political pals is Victorian far-right wing MP Moira Deeming. Each of Deeming and Price see their personal brand as being more important than electoral success. And each has rallied a coterie of ambitious but short-sighted MPs and ex-parliamentary wannabe influencers.
Meanwhile, in the home Liberal of Comedy, the Victorian State Director of the Liberal Party has failed to learn Social Media 101. Everything on social media should be assumed to be made available to your enemies. So, his disparaging remarks on social media about the Liberal Women’s Council and about 76-year-old state MP Bev McArthur came to light. Many might argue that comments about each of the offendees had a ring of relevance.
That wasn’t the point. He gave himself the DCM yesterday morning, before someone else did.
But for the Liberal Party, no need to send in the clowns. They’re already there.
6. Australia’s standard of living
There is information in this chart.
7. The problem with nuclear power
There was a massive but until now hidden problem with the coalition’s a-nuclear-power-station-near-you policy at the last election. Jellyfish.
Y’see, nuclear power stations need much water to cool things down. Which is why nuclear power plants tend to exist near the ocean. The problem is sea creatures. Which again brings Wry & Dry to France.
Last week, jellyfish entered a French nuclear reactor’s cooling system and became stuck in filter drums in its pumping systems. Thus, shutting down the whole plant. This is the second time that the gelatinous sea creatures have shut down a plant on the Normandy coast. Four reactors in Gravelines were shut down for 10 days last month.
EDF (the plants’ operator) is now exploring whether it can use “new jellyfish deterrent technology involving devices that make very high frequency sounds.”
Imagine had the Coalition been elected at the last election. Its nuclear power policy would fail, not because of nuclear power, but because of the environmental opposition to possible harm to jellyfish from that “new jellyfish deterrent technology.”
8. Greek tragedy
It’s demographics, stupid. If your fertility rate is 1.35 (well below the population replacement rate of 2.1) and going down then “Athens, we have a problem.”
And so, the Greek government is ‘suspending operations’ at 766 schools for the new academic year. Y’see, the number of primary school children has fallen by 111,000 in the past seven years.
And it will get worse. In 2024, Greece had 76,000 live births. This is about 9,000 fewer than in 2020.
Greece’s problem is shared by its neighbours: Italy and Spain all have fertility rates of 1.3. By the time Tsar Vlad mops up Ukraine, he could float his troops around the Black Sea and into the Mediterranean. And take all of southern Europe from the Pyrenees to Turkey.
9. Exchange Traded Funds multiply
In the same way that there are more recipes than ingredients, so too in the US there are more Exchange Traded Funds (4,370) than stocks on all American exchanges (4,172).
It’s amazing, what some issuers will do to obtain investors. Readers might consider the following investments:
- Social Sentiment EFT (BUZZ). Crowd psychology meets investing.
- Pet Care ETF (PAWZ). Investing in the pet economy.
- Space ETF (UFO). Commercial space ventures.
- Vice ETF (VICE). Profiting from indulgence.
- Inspire International ETF (WWJD). Faith-based finance.
- Animal Spirits Daily 2X Strategy ETF (WILD). Behavioural finance meets high risk.
- God Bless America ETF (YALL). Politically themed investing.
It goes without saying, that the above is not personal financial advice.
Snippets from all over
1. British workers take more sick leave
British workers are taking more time off sick than their peers in the United States, Australia and New Zealand, according to an analysis of global survey data. (The Times)
Wry & Dry comments: The survey failed to assess whether Brits are actually sicker or just slacker.
2. Trumpster sees tariffs to solve the Ukraine war
Donald Trump has asked the EU to impose tariffs of up to 100 per cent on India and China as part of a joint effort to increase pressure on Russia to end its war in Ukraine. (Financial Times)
Wry & Dry comments: That’s right, Trumpster, get your allies to do your work for you.
3. Tesla’s market share shrinks
Tesla’s share of the American car market fell to its lowest level since 2017 in August, according to Reuters. Elon Musk’s company, which once sold more than 80% of America’s electric vehicles, sold 38% last month. (Economist)
Wry & Dry comments: It’s a smaller share of a much bigger pie.
4. Trumpster’s $83.3m payout
A United States appeals court upheld a jury’s $83.3 million penalty against President Donald Trump for defaming author E. Jean Carroll, whom he was found to have sexually assaulted. (Le Monde)
Wry & Dry comments: Trumpster’s lawyers had already signed the appeal papers before the decision was given.
5. And the Fox/News winner is…
Rupert Murdoch has resolved a bitter succession battle and ensured that his media empire will retain its conservative political slant under eldest son Lachlan after buying out three of his children for $3.3bn. (Financial Times)
Wry & Dry comments: Each of the other three children will receive $1.1bn each. Nice work, if you can get it.
It figures
- 4,500: ANZ bank. The number of employees expected to be given the DCM under its new CEO.
- -3 points: Business confidence in Australia in August compared to July.
- -911,000: Revision of the number jobs added to US economy in 12 months to March. Lower rates?
- 2.9%: US inflation to end August.
And to soothe your troubled mind…
“The Coalition are interested in fighting each other.”
Uncle Albo, speaking about the Coalition’s internal squabbling.
Wry & Dry comments: The success of Uncle Albo’s comment was lost by his failure of elementary English.
Disclaimer
The comments in Wry & Dry do not necessarily reflect those of First Samuel, its Directors or Associates.
Cheers!